Lonely

i'm sitting here alone
all by myself
looking at my friends
who pass me by
one by one.

They will be with me
only whenever they're
in need
but whenever i'm
in need
they're all nowhere
to be seen.

i'm standing here all alone
thinking the mistakes
i've done
yes i did some mistakes
i admit it
but that just shows
who i am
a normal human being
couldn't run away
from mistakes
i'm simply not perfect.

when they have found new friends
they will bid farewell to me
as they will always be together
leaving me behind
looking at them
talking so fine
enjoying their time.

what can i do?
i say to myself
smiling on the outside
crying on the inside
how this hurt me
deeply,
so deep that
i cry myself
at night
all alone
in my room.

i've been an only child
all my life
but i never felt
so lonely like how
i'm feeling now....

Missing You

Whenever i'm with you,
i'll forget all my sorrows
you make my day
and will never make me feel
so down and lonely.

Without you,
i'm lost,
lost with all the memories
we had together,
how time flies so quickly.

Sometimes i feel that
time is jealous
with us,
passing by so quickly
never give us chance
to really be together.

With you,
i'll melt,
with you,
i'll blush,
with you,
i'll laugh my heart out.

Without you
i feel so lonely,
i feel so moody,
i don't know
why the sudden change
by not having you around
even for a minute,
I MISS YOU.

IN THE NAME OF LIKING

i like the way you smile,
i like the way you talk,
i like the way you treat me,
i like the way you care.

i like the way you smile,
because it portrays your sincerity
of friendship and kindness,
i will remember it my whole life, eternity.

i like the way you talk,
i like it when you touch my hands
stroke my cheeks, gently and softly,
because that's the only way
that would make myself melt.

i like spending time with you
and even with your psychopathic friends,
as you fill my hours and days
with laughter and smiles.

i like the way you care,
i like the way you ask me questions
because when i answer them,
you'll see me blush.

i need someone like you in my life,
but there are so many obstacles
i have to go through,
i don't want to be just a
temporary girl in your life,
i want to be THE one.

but i know it's just a dream,
an impossible one,
as you belong to someone else,
and i'm nobody special to you,
just a friend,
i know.

but time flies so quickly,
so quickly that we couldn't
predict or see the future,
i'm scared to think about it
when we are no longer together,
and you, being with somebody else,
i just couldn't bare the pain.

assignments come and go,
work come and go,
love come and go,
but i hope our friendship
will last forever
and keep the special bond
we're having,
ETERNITY.

Majlis Amal Berbuka Puasa Bersama Anak-anak Yatim

Date : 19th September 2008
Location : Hotel UiTM Pulau Pinang

9am
i woke up a bit late coz i was damn exhausted because i was having kitchen class the night before..i took my bath and headed straight to my faculty, which is also Hotel UiTM..my friends were there, already doing their work..i was the Program Director for this event, was just giving instructions to them to finish up work..hee~

went out for lunch, came back and checked on the hotel coffee house for the final check..

5.30pm
Eyka and i went to Kepala Batas by UiTM bus to fetch all the orphans..the orphanage is called Rumah Kanak-kanak Taman Bakti, Kepala Batas. once we were there,we met their principle and the kids..we went back, and otw back 2 uitm, we chatted with few of the kids..they were tooo shy..hehe
when we arrived, speeches, bla bla, snap pictures, snap snap, and eating time!!!
we buka puasa n finally time 4 them to go back..
we were alll very sad that most of us, the AJKs went on the bus to bid farewell to all the kids and the bus driver juz drove us ALL to Kepala Batas..juz imagine, there were about 58 of us on the UiTM bus!!
guess wat..the kids were so damn noisy!
we made a havoc on the bus, quite surprising actually bcoz the kids were super duper silent when we were otw to uitm..hehe
we reached their place and of course there were sum tears drama..
Bye2 children..see you all next time my little kiddies!!
XOXO Kak Nisa

For Him~

You make me smile
You make me laugh
You make my heart skipped a beat

You held my hands
You touched my heart
You kissed me on my cheeks

You call me
You text me
You fill my lonely nights with joy

I don't care who you are
I don't care how you look
All i wanna do is to whisper in your ears, saying
"I'm all yours"

im back in penang peeps!!!

im back in penang now..sadly, i didn't get a room on the 9th floor in baiduri..instead i got a room on the 5th floor wing A..my room is extremely small!!! unlike the other rooms, my room is smaller..huhu
to all my friends who haven't added me in their myspace or facebook or friendster, plz do so..
myspace : kdottie_89@yahoo.com
facebook : justmetheoneandonlynisadottie13@hotmail.com
friendster.com : psychopinkmaniaccatlover132@yahoo.co.uk
i'll be witing soon, got to run some errands now..
*muaxie

Oh Penang!

im going back to penang tomorrow...
i dunno why bt sumhow i dun feel like im excited in going bck to penang...
i have no mood to pack..
despite these feelings i have..i pray hard in getting a room in the 9th floor of kolej baiduri like i did last sem..its windy and i really enjoyed my 4 months stay there last sem..huhu
but anyhow..i have to back to penang tomorrow..
i dunno what im writing now..im talking crap here..huhu
nvr mind..will write sumting else when im in a right mind:(
penang here i come??!

Sunday Morning Rain Is Falling..

4 a.m
It was 4 in the morning and was raining heavily. The whether and the time reminded me of Gwen Stefani and Maroon 5’s songs. I used to like those songs. So anyway, it was 4 in the morning and I was freezing in my room. I couldn’t bare the coldness, so I jumped out of my bed, walked to the entrance of my room in total darkness, grabbed the remote control and turned the air cond off. It was a success. So I walked back to my bed and covered myself with the comforter and continued my sleep.

9 a.m
The first thing that came out from my head was “OMG, I’m late”. Weird. My mom haven’t (or didn’t) wake me up yet. I woke up and saw my dressing table was such in a mess. I stood up, stretched myself and went to my dressing table. 5 minutes later, I said “Aah...That’s more I like it”. Hehe. I went to the bathroom, washed my face and brushed my teeth. Next stop was the kitchen. I was starving but nothing there *sigh*. So I made myself a mug full of nestum and I’m stuffed! Went back to the bathroom, took my bath. Half an hour later, I came out from the bathroom, put my shorts and t-shirt on and I’m ready to go! (to the family hall, not far, about 20 steps from my room). Took my laptop with me and began writing this thing you’re reading:p the rain was pouring heavily and it was a bit cold even when the air cond and the fan are off. And it was windy. I loved it but the sad part was I couldn’t be able to watch the movie on Cinemax. It was raining cats and dogs out there. I saw the birds on the palm tree at my house garden, trying their best to cover their nest and themselves under the leaves. I also saw a few of cats sitting outside my house, on my porch. Usually we’ll chase them out of our house, but I just kept quite because I pity them. Although we can’t really see it, but I saw and I felt what they were going through, the coldness, the hungriness, the tiredness. Although they are not my cats, and they are however my neighbors’ cats, I took pity on them. If being compared to my cat, who was sleeping happily in my parent’s room, and on their bed to be exact, my cat (who happens to be Garfield’s cousin, because they share the same similarities) is damn lucky! We don’t allow our cat, whose name is Tammy, to linger around outside our house. He’s only allowed to walk and boss around IN our house. He’s clean:)
I couldn’t go online this whole day because of the bad weather:(

Occupational Safety and Health Intervarsity Debating Tournament 2008

20th June 2008

finally we were going to s.alam!! we had work hard for this event..n 'hard' means sacrificing our 2 months semester break..nelly,mok,acha,ilya,faiz,nia and i had sacrificed our 2 months of break by living in penang n doing work for our tournament..everything had to go well because this is our 'baby'..our first ever tournament and it's H-U-G-E!!

23rd June 2008

our first day of tournament..it's fun to watch ppl debating..but it's sad though, i couldn't join because i had to supervise my so called 'colleagues'..that night, we were supposed to have Fun Night..but john,bella,wan,faiz,nia and i decided NOT to attend the fun night and decided to make our OWN fun night..hehe..so we went to Domino's and went to the tasik and we had picnic there in the middle of the night! we ate at the playground, next to the tasik..it was windy and it was at 9pm..take note that this was at Shah Alam..we went back after a few rounds in subang, specifically in taipan, subang, and sunway(mcm takde tempat lain dah)

24th June 2008

woke up at 7am, quickly took my bath, went for breakfast and straight for work..nothing interesting happened..went out for a movie with safa, we watched Made of Honour..it was fun..came back and joined the rembeys and penangite clan for a really outspoken 'Truth or Dare' game..quite embarassed with them because the answer i gave to their question was embarassing..huhu..i had NO experience..bet you wouldn't understand what i've just said..never mind..moving on...this particular night, discussed with en. fairus about my text..finished at around 1am, and i hang out with my dear friend, alif till 4am..we talked about a lot of things, and he's the one who helped me with this bolg of mine..(THNX ALIF!!)

25th June 2008

and so the final day arrived!! woke up at 7am, continued sleeping till 9am, took my bath, get ready and straight to the hotel for rehearsal..went back to the campus with en. fairus, he treated the driver and i with KFC..hehe..then my parents picked me up from the campus and we went back to the hotel..my family put up a night there, at Crystal Crown Hotel, Port Klang..i took my bath, and get ready and it was time to go to the ballroom!!! i was sooooo excited that i couldnt really breath properly otw to the ballroom..i wasn't nervous, just because i was the emcee, not at all..but i was extremely excited because of what we had planned for the past few months are finally come to an end:(
Thanks to ALLAH everything went according to plan..

we bid farewell to each other and hope to meet each other again at OSHIDT 2009!!!

IN LOVE

This feeling overwhelms me
A swelling of the heart
I never truly thought I would be
This happy at the start

You take me by the hand
And lead me by heart
Over a beach of sand
Through the grasses that we part

With you I let go
Of intuition and sound mind
My feelings I cannot help but show
To a person who is so kind

I lose myself in you
This close I have never been
These feelings are so new
To have a lover who is my friend

MY SECRET IN SILENCE

You came into my life
Quietly, simply, placidly
And my words stood still

I couldn’t express in words
Or even in simple gestures
The secret I kept in my heart

So I love you in silence
Admired you from a distance
Dreamt of you from afar

I wanted to say I Love You
I wanted to say I care
But cowardly, maybe, you’ll only laugh at me

In silence then will I love you
In silence then I will care

HOPE

It’s hard for me to forget you
Even when I tried to be with somebody else
I truly am in love with you
But you don’t seem to really care

I have tried to move on
With someone who loves me
But it’s not easy as it looks
Because I love someone who doesn’t love me back

You said you don’t want to hurt me
But you are by ignoring me
By not telling me when you’re ready
Even though I’m so damn ready

I give you time and space
For you to think well
But it is uncertain that it’s me you want
Because you don’t treat me well

You’ve kept yourself quite a distance from me
But I understand that you needed time
But for how long would you not be ready
As I’m suffering here, waiting for something I’m unsure

Yes, I’ve told myself not to have too much hope on you
But then deep inside me says the opposite
Telling me not to ever give up on you
Even when you told me not to have high hopes on us